The Adventures of Reenybug2009 Edition

I fell for it.  Hook, line and sinker.  I got a new car in February and can no longer use my iPod.  Hopefully, this is a short-term setback and I will be rockin’ out in no time.  My wonderful boyfriend got me an audio book for the car as a temporary solution.  I listened to it and liked riding around thinking about something other than umm, everything.  Reading, but cheating.  So, off to the store I went for another.  I bought 2 audio books,  Valerie Bertinelli’s “Losing It” and Mackenzie Phillips’ “High on Arrival”.

Always thinking Valerie Bertinelli is so naturally beautiful and cute all at the same time, I chose to listen to her book first.  The same day I finished the book, I joined Jenny Craig.  Like I said, I fell for it.  Scam or not, effective or not, I have no clue yet.  I am mid-way  through my second week and doing well so far.  First week weigh in was a 4.2lb loss.

People around me have been my true inspiration.  Seeing my sister persevere for her loss and meet her goal was bittersweet.  I was happy for her accomplishment.  She sacrificed and worked and had lost over 60lbs.  I was happy for her to lose and be happy, healthy, and self confident once again.  For me, I quickly realized that I didn’t have the will power or drive to stick to WW.  I began to fall off track and let myself withdraw and over-eat.

In November, EFS started a medically supervised diet- which consisted of shakes only.  He no longer ate meals with me nightly or over the weekend.  He was also the primary cook in the house.  Ouch.  Holidays were here, and I felt myself withdrawing and eating more sweets than I intended.  In January, we started our total kitchen renovation.  We removed the walls, sink, and everything else.  Welcome to the world of takeout for one.  And a big welcome to 20 extra pounds by April 1st.  More importantly, congrats to EFS on his 80lb loss… so far.  A lot of sacrifice and will power got him to a healthier, happier point in his life. Bittersweet.

Where was I?  Valerie Bertinelli.  That’s right.  So here I am.  I am ready to change my life.  I want to be happy, healthy, moving, motivated, and thinking clearly.  I want to celebrate my losses with those closest to me that understand where I’m coming from and going to.  To start, I have set a goal of 50lbs.  I need to lose 75lbs but that seems so far away.  I wish I could say, “Oh, just here for 25lbs”- SO not realistic.  50lbs is a happy medium and will get me back to where I was 10 years ago.

Sweet.

So, as I mentioned in the previous post, I started work on a new blog.  I just released the blog and have my third post coming out tonight.  Here’s my problem…  I believe in writing the way I want to write.  The way I write here is the way I like to write.  So, I start this second blog and because I intend for more people to actually read it, and maybe even desire a few loyal followers, I feel like I have to write it differently.

Are there truly blog writing rules out there that I need to follow?  Does every blog need to have multiple discussion points?  Can’t I just sit and jot down my thoughts in a good flow and publish it as is?  I don’t want all my posts to be cookie cutter and predictable.  I like that some have defined tips that are elaborated on, while others are me yammering on about whatever.

Where is my voice in all of this?  After all, the purpose in writing this is to share points of my life and hope that others benefit from it.  How well can I convey my thoughts when they are restricted by some guideline out there that may or may not exist?  I have to be me in my posts.  This won’t work any other way.

To be continued…

No resolutions.  I promised myself years ago.  Goals, plans, dreams, however, are totally acceptable.  This year I plan to start a new blog.  Now, I know I am not great about keeping up with this one.  (in my defense, the computer broke and then there was some sort of error when I tried to access it most recently)  So, I have started writing posts for my other blog in advance and I don’t plan to launch it until I have a collection under my belt.  It should also get me to work on this more personal blog at the same time.

I just need to get in the habit of taking some writing time.  I think about all these things that I want to write about, but they escape me when I finally get around to sitting in front of the computer.  I need to make this a regular part of my day, or week.  I will have to schedule some actual time in to sit and write, sounds weird.  I think I may need a chair pad or a comfier office chair if I will be sitting here longer.  Another helpful part of the process is coming up with a name for the new blog.  I have some ideas, but I need to think about it more.

I would really love to be a more successful blogger and this year I will put forth the effort to make that happen!

What a summer!

Eric and I took our annual trip to York Harbor this spring and I talked him into looking at some properties while we were up there.  We walked into the York ReMax and met our new friend Ken.  We talked about the areas and types of living quarters we wanted.  We decided quickly that we did not want a condo, nothing on Route 1, and probably not even on the ocean.  We left the office with 10 drive by properties.   The first two were year round homes on regular streets.  We then became aware that we wanted waterfront, with a quiet setting.  We also started to feel more certain we wanted a seasonal place.

The third property we came upon was all we wanted.  We got out of the car and walked around the house.  I fell in love with the outside charm, the location and all the beauty surrounding it.  Eric muttered, “it smells good here”.  I was sold, and I think he was already, too.  Sometimes, you just get a feeling.  I felt a connection to this house.  I saw myself there.  I saw us spending years there.  I wanted no other house but this one and I really wasn’t even that interested in seeing any others.  We did our diligence and drove to all the other properties, while I daydreamed of this one.

When we got home, we decided to see the inside of four houses on the same pond.  No other location or home was worth a second glance for us, we loved Loon Pond.  Circumstances got us inside 2 of them.  We had already decided against the other two for various reasons.  The first one we saw was the one I fell in love with from the moment I saw it.  We enjoyed the inside, knowing it has potential.  I left there not even wanting to see the other house.  Obviously we were not impressed, and as a side note, it is still on the market for considerably less.

We made the offer on our favorite and then the wheels were set in motion.  As everything turned out okay in the end, I will spare you the gruesome details that cost our closing to be delayed multiple times leading to closing a full month after the initial date set.  I remember thinking we weren’t going to complete the sale and not understanding because I “felt that house”.  I knew in my mind and heart it was meant to be.  It all turned around very slowly, but we got there.  We closed on August 20, and spent our vacation week there setting up house.  It has been a truly amazing experience so far.  I could write about it for days.  I will share more details in future posts.

In the 2 months before we closed it, we had made some great memories.  Now that it’s closed and the holidays are over, I think spring may be my favorite season next year.  What an amazing opportunity to share with Eric as well as our friends and family.  I can’t wait forthe spring!

Where have I been since my last blog post?  I ask myself the same question.  I’ve been busy, but mostly I have been hiding.  Hiding from the previous blog posts that record my failed attempts to lose weight.   I viewed it as discouraging to re-read it and see that I had no success then, so why should things be different now?  Then, I took a bite of the cupcake or whatever ridiculously bad comfort  food I was consuming at the moment.

This time, it has to work.  I am at my heaviest.  I can’t get any bigger.  Really.  The good points to discuss are that I have made a plan, which includes Eric.  It is most helpful to be on the same page as your mate.  It makes for easier choices and more discipline.  It is going to be a long road and instead of looking at my previous failures and becoming discouraged, I will view them as tools to be successful.

Eric and I joined WW.  Although he has 10 points more than I do per day, it helps with our evening meal planning. We go to the meetings together and have a non-food reward system for our losses.  We set a goal of 5% in 5 weeks.  I’m not sure we will make it, but it has been helpful to have that goal taunting us.  We joined 2 weeks ago and the first week I lost 2.4lbs.  We had a huge Oktoberfest party at our house this past Saturday and I was still down .2lbs.  I would’ve accepted it if I were back up.  I actually felt that my hard work throughout the week paid off.

In addition to that, we hired a personal trainer.  It is our intention to see her bi-monthly.  She assessed us and gave us a plan to start.  I am hoping that her encouragement and no nonsense attitude will help push us both.  I think if we push each other too much it could blow up.  I definitely enjoy the neutral party criticizing, instead of always being the bad guy  or letting us of the hook.    Eric has gone back to his gym for 2-3 nights a week and I started Jazzercise again tonight after about 9 months.   I really enjoyed my time at Jazzercise last time and felt it was helping me feel better and become more fit and healthy.  I look forward to easing back into a routine.

So, I come out of this fog I have been in to say that I can no longer run from the issue, or eat it away.  It’s time to confront it head on and do what I can.  I am no longer in hiding.

How long since my last post?  Three new babies, a vacation, and the prospect of a real estate investment.  Oh, and a few more home improvement projects as well as the new neighbors moving in next door.  They have the whole neighborhood buzzing since the house has been vacant for over 4 years. 

I spoke to my most inspirational of all my friends last night and we carried on about wanting successful blogs.  She made me aware of what our issue is.  One word only.  Accountability.  And, she was totally right.  When I want to write about something I want it to be interesting, captivating and I want the end result to be successful.  Journaling my weight loss trek has not worked, and I have no confidence yet again.  Let me use the excuse of my boss being pregnant and keeping too much junk food in the house.  Then my work schedule changed and it’s not convenient for me to get to Jazzercise.  Now I can blame it on my schedule, junk food in the house, AND having a new baby to care for- let’s not forget the non-stop 2 yr old whose naptime was just reduced. 

Because I will no longer have an actual plan that will work and I can stick to, I feel there is no sense in writing about it.  What I should write about is what my thoughts are when I am looking at those cookies and what I am thinking about when I am eating them.  I’m getting hungry.  Moving on…

My goal in a blog was to throw away the flimsy notebook I write in 3-4 times a year and outlet here.  Then I wanted something crafty to write about.  Eric reviews movies and products on his.  Ooh, and I can post pictures?!  Count me in!  But, no, I am held back by my self realization that I am just not exciting.  I say screw it and I will just write about not writing a good enough blog. 

To clarify the events that have occured since the last post- my boss and 2 friend’s have had babies.  (1 boy, 2 girls- nice ratio, Nicholas)  We had our annual trip to Maine at the end of April/beginning of May.  !t was a great time as always and we changed our plans up this time.  We had no plans and just drove.  Cape Elizabeth was beautiful, as was the ride.  While there, we started investigating the possibilty of owning a vacation home inland.  This process is still ongoing, but we are hoping to have a definitive plan this week.  (the wheels are in motion)

Accountability.  I love you, Beth.

We went to see Bobby McFerrin at Boston Symphony Hall yesterday.  What an amazing show!  We were in the fifth row, so we had great seats, but really, are there any bad seats in there?  You can just close your eyes and here the music as if he was right in front of you. 

To be honest, I only knew two songs going into the show.  One was, yeah, you guessed it, and the other was Drive My Car- which I think was the flip side of my single.  I had no clue when either came out, oh so many years ago, that he was the only one performing the track.  In my defense, I was about 9 or 10 years old.  How was I to know?  I got my cassette single and was jammin’ out with my one speaker boombox. 

Anyways, back to the show.  It was truly an experience to watch this man sit in a chair with a microphone and a bottle of water on the floor and just knock out this amazing performance.  Audience participation with the music was welcome when he directed.  I considered the show interactive.  He improv’d while audience members danced.  Later in the show he also invited people to sing with him as he sat with his legs dangling from the edge of the stage.  Kumba, an African choir, was there to perform both solo and then following his lead.  He ended the show with a medley of the songs of the Wizard of Oz.  The entire movie, including the wind, was compressed into just a few minutes and it was great.  He came out for an encore, taking questions form the audience.  The finale was singing the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song with our grand participation. 

A great treat for a Sunday afternoon!

I deperately want to blog.  Desperately.  I want something important enough in my life to consistently write about.  Don’t get me wrong, I think my life is important and so are the people in it, and the things I do.  However, nothing really seems show-stopping or truly worth sharing.  I decide it will be this personal journey of weight loss and then I can’t seem to stick to a regimen, let alone write about it often enough.  Next, it’s movie reviews, but then I didn’t go to any for a long stretch of time and we’ve been watching tv series’ on DVD.  So, do I just write about my everyday life as uninteresting as it is?  Do I write about our escapades of slowly remodeling the house-ourselves- and all the yard work we are doing?  Guess what we’re planting this spring?   Sounds fascinating, right?

I want to write more frequently, then think there is nothing to write about.  Can I take the time once a week to recap?  Can I commit to posting whatever life brings that week, whether fun or absolutely boring? 

So, this flows out of me after watching Julie & Julia.  But, honestly, I have been itching to do this so much more.  I also read Jen Lancaster’s blog and think I can do this.  I stopped keeping a journal in hope sthat this would spark my need to write and then I would blog more.  Why can’t I get this going?  Jen and Julie please empower me.

My words are flowing now, yet not making any sense and having no point of interest and nothing is witty or funny here.  Signing off and going to re-think this dilemma.  I will conquer this. 

Hey, so, maybe I should’ve made blogging my New Year’s Resolution. 

Um…  No.

Here it is, January 27th, and guess what?!  Since I did not make any resolutions, I have nothing to add to my list of failed attempts.  Most people have already failed at this point.  Okay, so not a valid blog post.  More of an “I told you so”.  Whatever. 

I told you so….

I am not a person of resolutions, really.  I do like things to change from year to year.  I want new things for myself and my life, but I always want new things, year round- not just Jan 1st of the new year.  I always have personal goals.  Here are a few of the goals I need to continue working on in 2010…

Continue my exercise- yes, I am still Jazzercising for 4 hrs a week!  I have just tried Zumba and I think I may want to add that to my week, as well.  I haven’t been on a scale in awhile, but I know I haven’t put a ton of weight back on over this holiday season and I credit Jazzercise with that achievement.  I have NOT been a good eater.   Zumba may come later since I have to find a new location for it.

Get my financials in order would be the second thing.  Yet again, a goal I am always trying to achieve. The credit cards and ATM card are coming out of the wallet and going into the drawer at home.  This tactic worked well for me last year… until Christmas.  I just typed up my google doc spreadsheet and I am ready for battle.  Fingers crossed!

So, I am not really considering these things resolutions.  Do I want to be debt free in 2010?  Yes.  Do I want to lose 50lbs in 2010?  Yes.  But, I have moderate goals of continuing my exercise routine, in hopes that I lose 25-50lbs.  And, I will remove the cards from my purse and continue to pay them, trying my hardest to pay them off.

No matter what my weight is or my financial status is, I want to have a great 2010.  This is most important to me.  I wish the same for everyone else.  And, if you are a person of resolutions, good luck!